The New Greyhound

It was fitting that my trip's first destination was Detroit, considering that the first Major League Baseball games I ever saw were in Detroit's Tiger Stadium. I lived in Michigan from ages 1 to 8, and among the few things that brought us to Detroit, from what I can remember, were baseball games. But before I get to talking about Detroit, let me talk about how I got there. For the four or five weeks before I arrived in Detroit, I had been planning all of the logistics of my trip. I knew that at some point I needed to purchase my bus pass from Greyhound, which would allow me unlimited travel for the two weeks and get me from city to city. After a long final exam on May 11, I went to the Port Authority Bus Terminal to buy my pass. As I was waiting in line, I noticed that there were some very interesting people around me. I asked myself, are these the people I want to spend the next two weeks sitting next to? I really wasn't sure, but I was definitely beyond the point of no return. I got my pass and returned on Sunday night to catch the bus to Detroit.

With this pass, all I had to do was show up a few hours before each bus left and ask for a ticket. I went early to make sure I got on the bus I wanted to. With the spare time I had between then and boarding the bus, I went to my school to quickly print off a few things. It is hard to put in words the feelings I had, being at the law school without any obligations while other people were still studying for finals. I returned to the station and got in line for the bus. While getting my ticket and waiting in line for the bus, I again asked myself if this was really something I wanted to do. Sleeping on buses is not pleasant, but the thing that worried me the most was the people. Not people who I feel are going to rob me or pose some sort of physical threat; I am talking about people who are going to annoy me. Smells, noise, conversations, personal space and bus seat boundary violations, and so forth.

While I was in these two lines, I paid particular attention to the people around me and what they were doing. One guy at the ticket counter kept yelling "Hampton, VA? Anybody going to Hampton, VA?" He wanted to cut in front of people, but didn't want to take anybody's seat on the trip to Hampton, VA that was leaving in just a few minutes. An older man, who looked almost exactly like this Scooby Doo villain, stood a few people behind me and mumbled something no one could understand. Downstairs, while waiting for my bus, I encountered more interesting people. Behind me was a woman who giggled non stop with her boyfriend (her giggle, voice, and general mannerisms toward her boyfriend were just like those of the lady squirrel in Sword in the Stone: flirty, touchy, and giggly), a kid who looked almost exactly like Dwight Schrute, a guy who loved to hear himself talk and make up five-syllable words, and a man who I thought was homeless but in reality was a ticketed passenger (who left a HUGE mess of sunflower seeds in his seat that I noticed when we arrived in Cleveland) trying to talk to the Russian girl who did not speak any English. Being in these two lines was like being Eurydice in this clip from Black Orpheus (start at around 6:00 if you want to see what I'm talking about). She's walking through a unique crowd of people and is obviously unsure of what's going on and what she's doing. Despite my uncertainty, I got on the bus. We were riding overnight to Cleveland and from there I would change buses to get to Detroit.

Maybe you've been to Greyhound's web site recently or seen advertisements elsewhere for the "New Greyhound." The New Greyhound is a myth. I saw one new bus the entire time I was gone, and I was not on it. I know it says that they have specific routes, but I didn't see a single one until the last day of my trip. And, of course, I saw one driving down 5th Avenue the other day when I was walking home from the subway. The bus I was on from New York to Cleveland, and everywhere else, was exactly the same: little space between seats, no blinds on the windows (daylight and street lights constantly illuminating the whole bus), no wi-fi, and very little of anything else. It also didn't help that the guy next to me did not smell good. I had ear plugs, but what I really needed were some nose plugs. Furthermore, these two girls were talking at louder than normal levels for significant amounts of time. But it was what it was, and the trip to Cleveland happened, despite a rough night of sleep.

As I was leaving the bus, I checked my pockets to make sure that I had everything. I didn't have everything! I was missing my bus pass! I would have to buy another because there are no refunds or replacements for the pass. Losing it was throwing money away. I couldn't believe that I had lost it because I specifically put it in a pocket where it would almost be impossible to fall out. But it did! I went back to my seat and looked all over, but couldn't find it. Behind me was the giggly girl and her boyfriend, who had just woken up (they had been sitting a few rows in front of me and then, just as my luck would have it, moved into the row right behind me; but the giggling wasn't too bad). Would I find my pass? Check in for the next segment in a few days for that, the baseball game that never happened, and Detroit Rock City.